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Where are London’s real no go areas?

Over the weekend, in the wake of the horrific attack on London Bridge, this happened:

Which is odd, because I’ve lived inside the M25 pretty much my entire life, and waste much of my spare time on long, pointless walks across town, and I have never been aware of encountering a single no go area. Honestly: sink estates; industrial wastelands, Mayfair… They’re all basically fine, in my experience, and if I’m not scared I can’t for the life of me imagine why the police would be.

I’m not alone in this. Yesterday, my podcast co-host Stephanie – who is great, and who you should all follow on Twitter to make up for the fact I’m about to shamelessly recycle her tweets – tweeted this:

 

Also, this:

 

A lot of people clearly felt strongly about a certain underwhelming restaurant chain.

 

(A footnote: Stephanie, who is the funniest person in London, said it was fine for me to use her tweets providing I called her the funniest person in London*. So.)

Anyway. Yesterday I did that embarrassing thing where I read Steph’s tweets, forgot I’d read them, and then fifteen minutes later tweeted something similar as if they were my own idea because I’m basically a terrible person. Here was my effort.

 

(Gratifyingly for Stephanie, you will note that I did not receive the numbers she did.)

My search continued:

 

Here, just for information, is a map of the no go areas of South London:

Click to expand, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Eventually, I found a couple:

Seriously, the queues at the bar are insane, and if you don’t manage to get a drink you’re basically just sitting in a multi storey car park. (Note for non-Londoners: this is literally true.)

There’s also this:

Which is a vexingly popular tourist attraction in Leicester Square, at which no actual Londoner would ever be seen dead.

Others had their own ideas. South London bitterness was a theme:

So was north London snobbery:

 

For some reason, people really don’t think much of the remarkably anodyne north London suburb of Palmers Green:

Honestly, for a place that literally nobody as ever heard of, it attracted a surprising amount of ire.

A number of people mentioned the West End at Christmas:

The horror! The horror!

 

The very worst London area of all, though, a place you should absolutely never go to if you can possibly avoid it, turned out to be south of the river:

 

Probably because of one particular night spot.

 

Anyway. If you can think of other terrifying no go areas in London, do feel free to tweet me. And also, follow Stephanie – she is, you’ll recall, the funniest person in London.

*She also said I wasn’t allowed to say that she’d told me to do this.

Jonn Elledge is the editor of CityMetric. He is on Twitter as @jonnelledge and also has a Facebook page now for some reason. 

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