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December 16, 2014

City Metric Advent 16: SantaCon is bloody terrifying

By City Monitor Staff

SantaCon is an increasingly popular Christmas tradition in many cities around the world, in which revellers dress up as Santa outfits, go on a bar crawl and, in so many words, trash the place. It’s like a festive, joyous and in no way nightmarish cross between Miracle on 34th Street and the last night of spring break.

It is also entirely baffling. I mean, take this image, for example:

London, 2012. Image: AFP Photo/Leon Neal/Getty.

What even is that? Is that a guy who’se eaten too many sugar puffs or what?

London, 2009. Image: Oli Scarff/Getty.

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Look at the guy in the door of the train at the right of the picture. Imagine being him. Imagine what he’s thinking. Imagine that he doesn’t move his head quickly enough and the doors close on his head.

New York, 2010. Image: Mario Tama/Getty.

Well this guy’s obviously turned up at the wrong party and is just trying to style it out.

New York, 2004. Image: Maro Tama/Getty.

In this one, you can actually see the concentration with which the passerby is trying not to break into a run.

London, 2012. Image: Ben Stanshall/AFP/Getty.

FFS, guys, there’s a limit. And it’s December. December. The mean temperature that day was 8°C, what kind of lunatic would go around with their nipples out?

Also, the original caption for this picture informs us that this guy is in the middle of throwing a brussel sprout. It’s just baffling.

London, 2012. Image: Leon Neal/Getty.

“Maybe if I don’t move, they’ll just go away of their own accord.”

London, 2012. Image: Leon Neal/AFP/Getty.

Three Santas later, the phone box burst, scattering Santa-parts across a two mile radius.

London, 2012. Image: Leon Neal/AFP/Getty.

The protestors of Red Bloc have often been blamed for hijacking SantaCon and ruining it for decent, law-abiding Santas.

New York, 2009. Image: Mario Tama/Getty.

Nope, no idea.

New York, 2004. Image: Mario Tama/Getty.

And then, the riot happened.

This article is from the CityMetric archive: some formatting and images may not be present.
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