Angel
“The next station is Gnome. Change here for Elf, Cherubim and Fairy.”
Arsenal
Would be a lot less weird if it wasn’t a good eight miles away from where they actually built the arsenal.
Bank
It’s like something from a kid’s picture book where everything is labelled incredibly literally. Was even sillier when the next station along was still called Post Office. (It’s St Paul’s now.)
Barking
Disappointing lack of doggos.
Barkingside
Same, also a surprisingly long way from Barking.
Bromley-by-Bow
But not by Bromley which, once again, is eight bloody miles awy.
Canada Water
No.
Chalk Farm
Chalk isn’t a plant, lads.
Cockfosters
…
Elephant & Castle
What.
Grange Hill.
Hainault
Hang on, that’s in Belgium isn’t it?
Hornchurch
There are literally horns on the church, to be fair.
Kentish Town
Actually in Middlesex, nowhere near Kent.
Knightsbridge
Not only no knights, but no bridge either.
Oval
Might as well have a station called “oblong” or “dodecahedon”.
Oxford Circus
Plenty of clowns though, amirite?
Perivale
Does any other London suburb promise such a vertiginous drop between name and reality?
Plaistow
To be honest the name’s fine, I just wish people knew how to pronounce it.
Roding Valley
The river’s more than 30 miles long, guys, this doesn’t narrow it down.
Seven Sisters
None that I’ve noticed.
Shepherd’s Bush
“Now where are those sheep hiding now?”
Shepherd’s Bush Market
Because one bush is never enough.
Southwark
1. That’s not how that combination of letters should sound. 2. That’s not where Southwark is. Other than that you’re fine.
Swiss Cottage
Sure, let’s name a station after a novelty drinking establishment, why the hell not.
Waterloo
Okay, this one is definitely in Belgium.
Jonn Elledge is the editor of CityMetric. He is on Twitter as @jonnelledge and also has a Facebook page now for some reason.
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