Okay, we’re gonna make like an American TV network and call this election. With the majority of the votes in London’s mayoral election counted, Labour’s Sadiq Khan has a substantial lead over his Tory rival Zac Goldsmith. Britain’s leading elections expert Professor John Curtice is now predicting that Khan will win with 57 per cent of the vote.
Ladies and gentlemen – Sadiq Khan will be the new mayor of London.
So, the question on everybody’s lips is – what will Zac do now?
Become a milkman.
Work as a litter picker.
Assist Bill Oddie in some way.
Train as a junior florist.
Attempt to pick vegetables, but get a bit over-excited that they’ve let him hold the safety scissors.
Manage a sweetshop.
Be apprenticed to a bricklayer.
Learn basic IT, perhaps with a view to getting some secretarial work.
Delay commuters.
Model for TopMan
Learn to ride a bike without stabilisers like a big boy.
Join the cast of season 4 of Line of Duty.
Become a George Osborne impersonator.
Help his mates out on Tinder.
Assist the prime minister through the medium of pointing (“Look, Dave, a brick!”).
Hold objects approximately a metre above the ground and await further instructions.
Drown his sorrows in this unfamiliar amber liquid.
We don’t even have a good caption for this one but, bloody hell, look at him.
Stare mournfully out at the city, and think about what he’s done.
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All images taken from Zac Goldsmith’s campaign materials, except Bill Oddie and delaying commuters , both courtesy of Getty Images.
